Don’t you hate it when …..

you’re having a lovely dream and when you are just getting to the good bit, you get woken by something, such as your mobile phone going off.  If your phone is like mine, it keeps going off until you answer it.  So there i was, snuggled up in my warm bed with my phone bleeping at me from the kitchen.  After several minutes, I forced myself to climb out into the cold, run to fetch the phone and back into the comfort of my warm sheets.  Then comes the moment when I run around like a headless chook for the next 3 minutes.  My husband informs me that he forgot to put the two bins out by the curbside ready for collection.  It was at the exact same moment that I read this text that I heard the bin man driving and stopping down our street.  I leapt into a state of madness, wheeled both bins out (one at a time ofcourse) and then i realised that one of the bins was nearly empty, so bolted back up to the house to find bags and bins of rubbish and recyclables to fill up the bins.  And all the while, I was wearing my pj’s which I totally forgot about when running out the front of the house – oops.  Luckily I got everything organised in time for the garbage trucks and all that I suffered was the loss of how my dream ended and wet soggy socks.  Moral of the story – You can’t rely on your husband.

Day 20 – Don’t you hate it when …

Day 20 – Don’t you hate it when your husband who has just come out of night shift assures you that he can look after your 2 year old during the day, and you’re convinced that something will go wrong whilst you’re away, but you give him the benefit of the doubt?  So, I had to work for 3 hours and when I returned home, hubby approaches me and tells me “Don’t get angry”.  I think oh no.  What’s happened?  It turned out that hubby had closed his eyes just for a moment (so he says- more like 20 minutes I think, even though I wasn’t there), and during that time our 2 year old decided that it might be nice to go to his favourite place in the house.  You guessed it -the toilet- and play with the toilet freshner block that sits inside the white cage that hangs from our toilet bowl.  The next thing hubby says is “I had only closed my eyes for a second, I swear.  But he ate some of the toilet freshner”.  “WHAT!!! I screeched.  Upon inspection of the block, it appeared that half of it was gone – in his mouth I assumed.   It makes me think that toilet freshners could potentially be tasty if he ate half of it before it was taken away from him.  But I’m not prepared to prove my theory.  Moral of the story – Don’t trust your husband.

Day 19 – Dont you love it when ….

Day 19 – Time to be positive for a change.  Don’t you love it when your 2 year old can finally sit still through an entire movie.  But don’t you hate it when it’s the same movie (Toy Story and E.T. are the latest) and they watch it like it’s the first time they’ve ever seen it, every time they watch it.  And they laugh like it’s the first time they’ve ever seen it too.  So, there he was sitting on the couch with his mates, Buzz Light Year action doll, and his stuffed doggy and his gardening gloves on (cos he has an obsession with wearing gardening gloves all day).  The movie just starts and he says to his mates on his lap, “You guys better cover your eyes.  It’s bit scary”.  And then 2 minutes later, there’s another scary bit and Marinus adjusts his hands over both of his mates’ eyes and says, “Careful you might see”.  And the running commentary is hilarious, such as; ET missed ship, ET sad, ET got fire in his belly, ET in basket so he can’t fall out, I want a big bike like those boys do, hurry up ET, Is his mother on his ship, Is his Pup on his ship?  There are times when this boy of mine is so hilarious and cracks us up.  He is our little entertainer and monster in one.  Feel free to leave a comment about my blogs or anything else that’s on your mind.

Day 18 – Don’t you hate it when …

Day 18 – So I thought I’d better to tell you how my son got the nickname of PITA and PITFA on really bad days.  I thought my freshly turned 2 year old boy would be able to sit through an hour movie at the cinemas.  Boy was I wrong !!!!  I thought I had everything planned in my mind.  It’s not right that I’m underestimated by a 2 year old.  How can one have such power over his Mother?  Anyway, we sat near the top so that he couldn’t escape and run off (my theory was that there were stairs to prevent him), and we arrived 5 minutes before the movie to get settled.  The popcorn that he was sharing with his big sister was being hoed into before the movie even started.  I tried to take it away, but he screamed the theatre down “Give me back my popcorn Mummy!!!”  So, he ate majority of the popcorn before the movie even started.  Just as the movie started, he had decided he’d had enough popcorn and it was at this point that the fun had just begun.  NOT!!!!  He kept climbing and jumping the stairs, standing on his chair, walking across other chairs, blocking people’s views and ofcourse he was talking.  I thought, This isn’t working.  So I said to my daughter, “Let’s move down the front”.  So, we gathered our bags, our food and drinks and ofcourse the shoes that pita had taken off and slowly meandered clumsily down to the front.  When we got there, again he sat for no longer than a minute and he was up, running across the big open space in front of the screen.  My God!!!  So, up I jumped, fled across the floor and grabbed the little shit who wriggled like crazy and whinging “Let me go Mummy”.  So for the next 40 minutes, I struggled to entertain the boy with eating the remaining popcorn, playing games with our hands and singing in his ear, playing with my mobile phone, trying to excite him with the movie by fooling him into thinking that the bunny was cute and what’s he going to do next (Movie was HOP – not that I got to watch any of it – no seriously, had no idea what it was about). And then to top it off, one of the popcorns that he thought was a popcorn was actually a kernel, and yes, you guessed it.  He choked on it.  His eyes watered up, he moaned and groaned, coughed and spluttered, and then it came, the big throw up!!!!  My God.  Right, let’s deal with this problem now.  Clean up the throw up with the 4 baby wipes that were left in the bag, hold PITA down at the same time so he wouldn’t run off, saying shhh, shhh ten million times.  Poor Emily (my 7 year old daughter) was trying to watch the movie and was being my assistant at the same time.  She was great.  For almost an hour now, I had been saying over and over in my mind, what a pain in the ass.  He’s a pain in the ass.  Then being an acronym girl, I thought of PITA.  By the end of the movie, I was the first out of the door so I wouldn’t cop any disapproving looks from the other patrons.  I practically bolted out the door, down the corridor and quickly threw everything and everyone into the car vowing to never take my 2 year old to the cinemas again.  What a disaster.  It took a me week to get over it and my ordeal.  Looking back, I could have left the cinema during the movie, but pushing through difficult times makes you a stronger person and better prepares you for other challenges in life.  So, that’s how he got his nickname PITA.

Day 17 – Don’t you hate it when ….

Day 17 – Don’t you hate it when you are waiting in the doctor’s waiting area with a dozen other people and your 2 year old son seems to be able to charm the pants off everyone.  The little shit gives a killer smile which says “I’m cute aren’t I?”  Little do they know how much of a pain he can potentially be.  And when they see PITFA run out of the waiting area, run down the corridor, through the front electric opening doors, squealing his little head off and then running into the carpark with Mummy close behind running in high heels after him, they’re all smiling when I return with the ratbag squirming like an eel in my arms.  I feel like I’m entertaining an audience of patients.  Let’s face it, the tv programs in the waiting areas are pretty boring to watch especially when they never put the sound on.  “I bet he keeps you fit” are the standard comments upon returning.  I don’t think they’re smiling because Marinus is so cute.  I think they’re smiling because it’s self-satisfying to see someone else go through the pain of raising a 2 year old, which they probably had to go through 20 years before me.  They’re evil !!!  For the record, Marinus is a crowd pleaser and loves people, and I love him dearly even though he drives me crazy for parts of my days.

Day 16 – Don’t you hate it when ….

Day 16 – Don’t you hate it when your 2 year old son reassures you that he doesn’t need you to watch over him whilst he’s on the toilet.  “I’m a big boy now.  Don’t watch me Mummy.  Get out”.  And then you go and attend to other people who need you in the house and momentarily forget that the little PITA is still on the toilet and it’s so quiet….  So, I go into look and there he is swirling his hands in the toilet bowl after he’d done his piddle (the strong urine smell was a dead give away that he hadn’t flushed after his little tinkle either).  Then he looks up and says, “I’m playing with the toilet paper Mummy”.  You’ve also got your hands in your own piddle ya ding dong, I think.  The joys of being a mother of a two year old boy!!!

Day 15 – Don’t you hate it when ….

Day 15 – So, I said I wouldn’t write, but I couldn’t help myself.  I received some great advice from a close friend Bruce and he is absolutely right, so until i really know where this blog is going to take me, I thought I’d express my experiences with my two beautiful and naughty kids.  I’m going to call it Don’t you hate it when…..  you go shopping with your 2 year old and 7 year old.  After you’ve spent 20 minutes chasing your 2 year old little shit, who has grabbed ten million products from the shelves, we finally get to the checkout with half the store looking at me (thinking that bird can’t control her bloody kids).  But it’s not over yet.  There at the checkout are those blastered chocolates, and PITFA (my son Marinus) decides that there’s a kinder surprise chocolate egg (right at his eye level – great planning by the Woolworths shop).  He grabs and says “Can I have this Mummy?  I’ve been a good boy”.  Bullshit, I think.  You’ve made me build up a sweat in the last 20 minutes chasing after you.  Then comes the dreaded answer “No”.  Big mistake.  So there we are having a wrestling match over a chocolate egg.  His tight little grip is quite a good one.  He must have been desperate for chocolate.  After a minute of wrestling, I felt that dreaded ‘pop’ sound.  Oops.  The eggs is broken.  Do you think the little shit let go.  No.  Feeling desperate, he still gave me a run for my money.  After another minute (well, so i felt), I finally got the broken egg and ruined alfoil (covering) off of him, quickly put it back on the shelf and pulled PITFA away from the other chocolates.  But as I put it back on the shelf, a piece fell out and onto the floor.  It was too tempting for someone not to pick it up and slide it slyly into their mouth.  My 7 year old, bent down, looked left, looked right and slowly slipped it into her drooling mouth and smiled with satisfaction at not only the taste of it, but because she had gotten away with stealing.  Want to hear another story? I’ve got plenty, but I will tease you with one a day.  Have a funny story of your own, then why not leave a comment.

Day 14 – My 365 day Blog Building Journey

Day 14 – Re-evaluating my direction.  I received a comment on my last post.  At first I was feeling a bit disheartened about their comment.  After searching through google about blog building, I discovered that perhaps I’m going the wrong way about it all.  I’m looking at the prize at the end rather than focussing on the journey.  It’s true isn’t it?  It’s like playing golf.  If you worry about the outcome and beating your handicap, you aren’t able to put all your energy into every single shot and it’s every single shot that counts.  If I focus on the shots, then the reward of beating my handicap will eventually happen.  So, thanks to Bruce for opening my eyes.  I felt disheartened for about 10 minutes, then felt reinvigorated about my blog and the focus of my content.  I’m a drama/music teacher so I’m going to put my expertise to good use.  And I wont be blogging every day because I want to build up my content before I publish it.  Please make a comment about your experiences blogging and if you agree with my thoughts or not.  I would love to hear from you.

Day 13 – My 365 day Blog Building Journey

Day 13 – Sign up with Twitter.  Another social network to get more exposure.  However, I find it difficult to understand how twitter works at this stage.  Anyone who wants to give me some insight into this, please leave a comment.  I couldn’t find my tweet back that I had sent.  And why does it look like I have just tweeted myself?

Day 12 – My 365 Blog Building Journey

Day 12 – Research blogs to see what their main page looks like and what they’re getting up to.  What have they got that I haven’t got yet.  If you want to make money out of your blog, then you should use keywords such as money blogging or how to make money blogging to make sure you’re on the right path.  Don’t get disheartened – I’m sure it’s possible if you hang in there for the long haul.  Do you have the mental strength to stay focussed and be determined, is the question?